Dateline: Port Douglas
Now we’re talkin’! THIS is how you want to get picked up at the airport (in Cairns). A private shuttle up coast an hour and a half to the yachty little town of Port Douglas is just the ticket. The “sisters”, as we came to call them, are right out of Hollywood central casting. “Marie” and “Denise” play your long lost and adorable Aussie cousins who couldn’t be happier to see you and cannot do enough to make your visit to the little town of Port Douglas both memorable and perfect in all respects. The Coral Sea Retreat. A little gem of a place just a short ride up the hill into the rain forest from the town proper and hovering above the beach.
Pablo found our guide to the Daintree Rain Forest on the internet among many who offer similar tours. The Daintree Rain Forest merits World Heritage Nature Site status because it is the oldest rain forest in the world. (The Great Barrier Reef gets the same distinction because it is the largest living coral reef in the world.) Pete got our reservation prior to leaving the states because of his prompt and witty responses to all of Pablo’s email inquiries. We knew he was going to be “our kind of guide” from his emails. We were not disappointed.
Thus said, Pete is a capital C Character. One part Crocodile Dundee, one part parish Vicar, and one part your favorite professor of Everything, Pete made me wish the day didn’t have to end. It was like hanging out with Bill Nye the Science Guy for a day. Truly, I wanted to invite him to come and have dinner and a pint with us, but Pablo reminded me that hanging out with us is the guy’s j.o.b. and he got off work at 5 o’clock. Pete’s just the kind of tour guide who becomes your new BFF. Being a “people person” is a skill and one that is highly valued in the tourism industry but few people can do it in a way that is so genuine and engaging you literally forget that you PAID for the service. Pete is the best of the rare breed.
He will pick you up from your lodging (early pick up, 7 am) in his brand new, totally geared up range rover. Pete’s tours are private (your group can be no larger than 6 people) so there is a slight tariff for the privilege of not riding in a large van with 16 sweating tourists, but we have found that a private tour is well worth the added expense under some circumstances. A tour of the rain forest would definitely be one of those circumstances. Our first “desto” for the day long tour was a boat ride up the Daintree river. Because it was mating season, the crocs were otherwise engaged (presumably doing the nasty up some creek) and so we didn’t get to see one, but our boat captain was a veritable font of information re: all things Crocodylidae nevertheless.
On most of the standard “big” group tours I doubt that they venture very far into the forest on foot. Judging from the “path” (I use the word in the loosest possible connection to its meaning) we were on, we were the first human beings to do so. Along the way, Pete stopped every few feet to pick up and inspect every kind of insect and point out every kind of flora with a very colorful lecture. (He encouraged us to lick the green butts of some large ants saying, “they taste quite a bit like the Starburst candies”. Uh. No thanks, Pete.) His oration was centered around the improbable scenario wherein your plane crashes and you survive the crash but you are in the middle of an impenetrable rain forest without food or water. (Maybe just some teeny tiny bottles of Hiram Walker from the beverage cart survive the crash.) Pete really wanted us to survive our ordeal. Hence, his repeated earnest inquiry, “How will you know what is edible?” I took a photo of one specimen and asked Siri but she responded with a web search that turned up a link to “Christian Literature”. ??????
(Note to self: check into app idea for surviving a plane crash in the rain forest.)
We learned more than we could retain, but every single minute was highly entertaining nonetheless. Trekking deep into the forest, Pete took us to a kind of natural shrine formed by three enormous trees that reminded us of the sort in Cambodia (featured in the Lara Croft movie). This was a truly spiritual site for Pete and I feel honored to have been his guest there. (Thanks, Pete!)
Next up, we drove down to the beach to Cape Tribulation where Pete’s vast knowledge veered into oceanography and ocean related biology and Australian history. The most adventurous thing I did on the tour (besides promise to not freak out if a leach hopped a ride onto my person) was to taste some “happy flowers” (mushroom taste) which are known to be eaten in large quantities by the local “hippies”. (Yes, they are still around these parts, like vestiges of the ‘60s replete with dreads and tie dyed clothing, though I suppose the political aspirations have changed some. It seems more a lifestyle choice and fashion statement to these “hippies”, although they are the foundation of the artsy fartsy crowd up in Kuranda – more on this place later.)
Pete’s tour is sun-up to sun-down and you will be exhausted upon your return. For this reason we opted to have “the sisters” make dinner for us and serve it in the “tree house”, literally a large “great room” that sits atop the rainforest canopy and looks down to the beach. By far the two dinners we ate in the tree house were my favorite in Port Douglas, even over the joint that boasted to be Bill Clinton’s favorite eatery (when Bill is in P.D.). It’s a clue when you see a bunch of “Gourmet” mags lying about the inn, don’t you think? Breakfasts were among the best I’ve ever eaten anywhere at any B&B and you know how those B&Bers like to wow you at brekkie.
Our second tour was by “shared van” but it was only a half day tour, the journeys were short, and the van had great AC, so…doable. (I know. Sometimes I hate myself.) Anyway, Brett’s Half Day Tour up to Kuranda was well worth doing and not expensive for all you got with it. (See notes for details about the train ride up to Kuranda.) Kuranda is the “hippie town” and it will make you feel like you entered a time warp. The crafts market was great and I was forced to re-evaluate my previous uncharitable remarks about Australian art. It’s there. It’s just up in the mountains. (Be sure to find Amanda of Amanda Designs up there in the crafts market. Beautiful stuff. I only wish I’d bought a ton more of it.) Also, the BEST gallery of aboriginal art in P.D. (maybe anywhere) Doongal Aboriginal Art is up there too. (Notes again.) They specialize in didgeridoos if you are in the market. (They ship to the states, too!)
Also, because the big attraction to this area is generally thought to be The Great Barrier Reef, no trip here would be complete without going there. You CAN take a boat out and snorkel, but if you can swing it, do yourself a big favor and splurge on a private helicopter. Words fail me to describe the experience. So worthwhile. There are a few companies that offer these rides and we took gbrhelicopters without a recommendation and just lucked out. I can’t imagine changing a thing….oh wait, I might sit up front next time so that when the pilot cavalierly asks if I want to take the controls, I will know enough to decline the invitation. I can’t say that Pablo was in possession of the same wisdom, and I have to say that for a few tense moments there as we flew over the rain forest canopy, (dense as a vast green carpet), I was actually fearful that we might have to employ Pete’s survival guide anecdotes. (Was it the black bugs with the red spots that will kill you in an instant, or was it the red bugs with the black spots?) It’s a guy thing. They think that they can “drive” anything.
Check the trip notes for restaurant advice in P.D. And, finally, know that if you plan to go to Port Douglas for beach time you’d be wise to avoid the “stinger” season. Four Mile Beach is gorgeous, but you can only swim in the tiny “net” they put up to keep the stingers out. (Jelly fish. One variety the size of your little pinkie finger will kill you deader than a flat rock in two seconds.
Finally, the sisters will drive you back to Cairns (even at the crack of dawn) and stop along the way for a wallaby siting. Next desto for us, the wine country of Australia!