You say cut’-ter, I say ku-TAR’ so let’s call the whole thing off. 

(Sorry, that’s for my mother in law – RIP, Nonnie – who loved her corny old songs.)

And, now, I’ve been there and I still don’t know what the correct pronunciation is. What I DO know is, that by any name or pronunciation, that place is fascinating. 

No one I told I was going thought it was a good idea to go. And, not only because the penalty for drinking alcohol is getting lashed in public. Okay, I’m being dramatic. It’s true, Qatari Muslims have been known to be lashed for consuming alcohol (dictated by Sharia law which dominates civil law in Qatar). But the alcohol consumption laws have been somewhat relaxed for tourists. You are able to purchase alcohol in some of the 5 star hotel bars and restaurants for instance. It’s pricey, but it’s doable. And, Qatar is hosting the World Cup in 2022 so out of necessity the prohibition of alcohol will yield to what they’re calling “fan zones”.  It’s going to be so interesting to watch the media cover the culture clash of revelry, if not debauchery, associated with soccer’s World Cup and the opprobrium generally associated with Islam’s relationship with alcohol consumption. ESPN, you’ve got your work cut out for you. 

Back to me and my alcohol consumption in Qatar. Yeah. No. There wasn’t any. I could have had a drink in the bar at our hotel but it was smoky and a little creepy and it had the stink of desperation about it so I took a pass and congratulated myself on my ability to do as the Romans do, or in this case, as the Muslim population of Qatar does. (At least in public – more about this in a later postcard.) 

So, I set about learning from our guide as much as possible about the place, the people, the customs and the history and each one of those topics is complicated if not wildly inscrutable. 

People first. 

Slightly fewer than three million souls inhabit the State of Qatar and approximately 12% are what are known as “locals” or people who are indigenous to Qatar from the ruling Al Thani clan which has ruled this constitutional monarchy (pretty benevolently, all things considered) since the middle of the l9th century. The remaining population are all migrant workers, (“expats”) and almost half the country are from the Indian subcontinent. Another couple hundred thousand “expats” are Egyptian and fully a quarter million are Filipino. Islam is the official state religion so it’s unsurprising that nearly 70% of the total population practices it with most practicing the very austere sect known as Wahhabism. An estimated 5-15% follow Shia Muslim doctrine but the distinction between those two lies beyond the scope of this postcard and will most likely elude my true understanding for all eternity. Our guide was a young Muslim Indian fellow from the state of Kerala, India and he was unapologetically besotted with his adopted home. His knowledge of Islam was a gift as he instructed us about his devotion both inside and outside of various mosques. He even demonstrated the correct prayer positions, posing for Pablo’s camera and delighting in our interest.

He described all things Qatari in an exceptionally positive light. He frankly loves and admires the locals and he claimed that his positive feelings were standard among the worker expats. When I told him that I had read up on Qatar and that they’d had some issues with labor in terms of their strict economic system that is described by some outsiders as “feudal”,  he scoffed. Writing off some of the international community’s objections to Qatar’s economic structure as “jealousy” he claimed that there were no unhappy people, no poor people and no homeless. Indeed there were no visible homeless, poor or unhappy people. The quality of life in Qatar, at least on the surface available to tourists, is supremely high. Our guide’s breakdown of the economic social structure went something like this: there are rich people, very rich people and then obscenely rich people. All of these people are among the category known as “locals”. Rich on oil and gas money every citizen (and you can only be a citizen if you are a local) owns several villas, a half dozen SUVs, travels extensively and sends their kids either abroad to university or to one of the many implanted foreign based colleges at the glorious Education City. In fact, Qatari citizens enjoy the highest per capita income in the world! As a tourist you will have little to no interaction with them. Your direct interface will be with the foreign ex-pats who work in the hotels, restaurants and tourism industry. You’ll have a few “local spottings” especially if you go to the malls (which are stunning, by the way, and though they were nearly empty in November, during the summer, when temps can go up to 130 degrees F., the malls are mobbed. The very excellent roads are another good place for local sightings as they seem to love their cars. They are, however, terrible drivers and often were witnessed juggling a mobile phone, a sandwich and a beverage behind the wheel of an expensive vehicle. I wouldn’t drive in Qatar if you gave me a brand new Porsche to do it. 

The geography of Qatar is a bit unique as it’s a tiny little peninsula with only one shared physical border (Saudi Arabia) and they still remain under a blockade that began several years ago by the neighboring Arab countries who have said that Qatar supplies terrorist organizations in other countries with funds. (This accusation has been denied.) You can still see the ubiquitous stencil of the Emir’s face EVERYWHERE from the sides of buildings to the rear windows in cars as a national gesture of solidarity and support for the Emir’s response to the blockade. Indeed, Qatar has not only survived the blockade, they have turned a crisis into an opportunity and out of necessity several heretofore non-existent industries have sprung up and become hugely popular and successful. One of these is agriculture. Where none existed prior to the blockade, a promising if nascent hydroponic farming industry dots the desert landscape courtesy of the desalinization of ocean water. Perhaps this kind of comeback shouldn’t surprise anyone. When the very prominent pearling industry collapsed in the early twentieth century thanks to the invention of the cultured pearl in Japan, Qatar turned to oil and natural gas exports to become one of the richest countries in the world. They know how to pull out of an economic nosedive for sure. As for the Emir’s face everywhere, students of Islam will note that according to Koran, it is forbidden to reproduce human faces and images as this is seen as blasphemy. Even I knew that much from having visited the Alhambra in Spain where nary a human face can be seen. Nor animals or other living creatures. In art at least. So, what gives? Well, according to our (very very devout) guide, the Emir’s face everywhere, while extraordinary, has come to provide a certain kind of national calm. “Everything Is Going To Be Alright” became the rallying cry during the worst of the blockade and thus, an allowance for a suspension of that aspect of religious doctrine. And, also, let’s be honest…commercial enterprise. You can’t have a mall without advertising and you can’t have advertising without pictures of pretty people. There’s that. 

So, what’s a DoNOTmiss in Qatar? I’d say, the absolutely gorgeous main Mosque, (the only Mosque in all of the middle east that required I cover my clothes and head) the Opera House and the old Souk at night when it’s bustling. (Dead as a doornail during the day.) Don’t miss the Arabian Falcons. A brisk business of live birds all throughout the Gulf Countries is centered here even with the blockade. There’s an historic old fort way, way out at the end of the peninsula that actually did get Unesco World Heritage designation (Al Zubarah) but…I dunno…why? It’s not for me to judge I guess but nary a visitor was there and the coastline out there, while the beach is quite nice, is pretty much a ghost town since the pearling industry went kaput. (But, if you’re working on a list of all the Unesco sites, you gotta do it.) It’s a long drive out there though and in my opinion not the best use of your limited time if you’re only in Qatar for a couple of days. Instead, go see the camel race track at Shahaniiya where a single camel can be worth millions, just like race horses here. 

Do get a guide that appreciates Qatari culture and one that is willing to share what they know and believe about the predominant religion. You aren’t just seeing sights when you are admitted inside the culture from a true believer’s vantage. It makes for a much richer travel experience.

One final note and back to where we started kind of.  Music. I didn’t realize it at the time and I didn’t register what was missing almost until we left, but there was NO music to speak of in Qatar. No contemporary music at all. Not even in that sad little smoky bar. Clearly classical music is favored and a ton of money was spent on that opera house but even in the malls and elevators I don’t remember hearing even MUZAK. When we started paying attention to it, upon retrospect we remembered that our guide was heading out to an oud concert back at the Opera House when he left us one day and he seemed inordinately excited about that. I mean he was REALLY excited for a free oud concert. I guess if you’re music deprived the oud will do it for you in a pinch. For me, you’ve heard one oud, you’ve heard them all. I know. I’m an ethno-centric jerk but, I need tunes, even abroad. Even corny ones if that’s all I can get. Sue me. 

Desto3 is back in business – big time. 

This episode of “Where in the world is Pablo?” finds our intrepid hero in any one of 7 middle eastern countries beginning in Jordan, what some Jordanians refer to as the 52^nd U.S. state, Israel being the 51^st. (Sorry, Puerto Rico and for that matter D.C. – nobody over here gives a fig about your plight regarding statehood rights, and figs are plentiful here.)

You never know what the man on the street in any foreign nation really thinks about their country’s relationship to America and Americans, and I always assume that folks who work in the tourism industry will have a somewhat skewed opinion, (for better or worse) given that much of their livelihood is dependent on US tourist dollars and near constant social intercourse with actual Americans or other westerners in the course of their workweek.  But even acknowledging this, my take on the affection Jordanians manifest for the U.S. is that it is pretty damn genuine and remarkably positive. And, the Jordanians on the whole seem absolutely incapable of deception and utterly guileless. Another note on the nature of the locals: with no exception, every single Jordanian we came in contact with exhibited a sweetness and a sincerity that could take your breath away. I was put in mind of Margaret Atwood’s Crakers (Oryx and Crake) minus the nudity and other obvious differences. (BTW, I highly recommend the Atwood trilogy, just fyi, for long journeys. And, random travel tip: always take an epic novel with you on any long trip. For those boring mid-transit hours.) 

Day one: we spent the day in and around Amman viewing nearby sites that really should be Unesco World Heritage sites but somehow missed the list. First the Citadel, which, as Citadels go, is right up there.  Reminds me of my dear friends Holly and Jan who always comment, “I wonder how many slaves perished to build THAT?” In this case the answer is, plenty. There’s a museum inside the Citadel that chronicles the history. You can visit via Wikipedia for the same info if you are curious. The day we visited the Citadel’s amphitheater it was in preparation for a big event being thrown by the king. I don’t know what the occasion was but it is notable that this “venue” is still being used as a party site. Alas, the Desto3 folks were not invited to attend.

Next we moved on to Jerash, an ancient/modern city about an hour’s drive from Amman. The ruins of the ancient city are in a constant state of excavation and renovation. Evidence of some kind of ancient Neolithic civilization dates life there to 7500 B.C. What has been unearthed already displays a history of the occupation of the old city by the cycle of domination by the usual suspects in World History 101. I.E. the Greeks, the Romans, the Byzantines, a brief failed attempt by the Christian Crusaders, and finally the Islamic dynasties that maintain ownership and occupation to this very day. 

There’s a pretty extensive Rue du Crapola just inside the gates but the shop owners are actually very chill and the few I spoke with were friendly, curious and unaggressive. Again, more of the local charm prevailed.

Our day guide inside the city walls of ancient Jerash was not exactly bitter about the world’s failure to adequately acknowledge Jerash. It was more like he blamed a failure of Jordan’s public relations capabilities. He knew (and listed for us) all the other world heritage sites and opined vociferously that Jerash deserved to be recognized every bit (and maybe more) than they did. It IS quite spectacular. And it is HUGE. The magnificence of the reclaimed structures including the columns in every period rival Pompei, the Roman Coliseum, and the Greek Parthenon. You get a sense of what’s to come as you enter through Hadrian’s Gate (more on this in a sec). It just gets better and better (see photos).

On the second day in Jordan I spent 4 hours in the back of a compact Ford speeding through the desert from Amman to Wadi Rum, the “Holy Valley” or the Valley of the Moon. The landscape is so barren it conjures up movie moonscapes. Indeed more than a couple Hollywood movies, including the blockbuster MARS (with my fave, Matt Damon) was shot on location here in Jordan’s desert. At times I could have been en-route from LA to Vegas. Flat and bleak and in the summer, muy caliente..  Then you enter the red valley and you are reminded much of Sedona, AZ if you’ve ever been. The sand is like red flour and the youth and the tourists like to run barefoot down the dunes in it. (Me, maybe 20 years ago, but my hip surgeon would not approve of any such foolishness now. My partner “ran” down, but not with what anyone here or anywhere would call “alacrity”.

There are many overnight camps in Wadi Rum varying from luxurious to basic and the prices range accordingly. Our camp was a mix of Bedouin style tents and plastic, air-tight domes that allowed us to star gaze all night long from bed. We justified the extra expense by noting that it’s highly unlikely we’ll ever be back again and I must say, it was worth every extra penny. There’s just nothing like lying under a night sky in Wadi Rum to fuel the contemplations of your relative insignificance in the Universal scheme of things. Unless of course you’re doing the same thing in the red sand desert of Namibia. 

Meanwhile the local Bedouin tribe are still basically nomadic and they OWN the Wadi Rum. From a distance you see their many 4X4s careening through the desert like motorized beetles all carrying Western tourists to the various points of interest and stellar viewing sites. These “desert tours” are a principle source of income now. I cannot say enough about the graciousness of the Bedouin. Few are really proficient in English and most still live as the tribe has for hundreds of years. We must seem very odd to them and yet they are so generous and kind it breaks your heart a little. I hope the Wadi Rum stays this way but I have fears that with more and more tourism, the jade will set in and even the sweetest guys will get polished and savvy. This will be too bad. It may be inevitable however as Jordan is not oil rich like the rest of the gulf and they will, out of necessity, rely on tourism for income. In addition, they export a lot of agricultural products, unlike most of the rest of this region, and so far, Jordan is the ONLY country in the middle east to invest significantly in alternative power. A decent representation of wind farms already exists and one thing they have plenty of is wind. 

On the way back to Amman from the Wadi Rum we visited Petra. You really do need much more than a day to take all of Petra in. Our guide recommended 5 days minimum. He was magnificent but, there’s only so much you can cover if you are rushing along. If you plan to go, I’d give it minimum 3 days and you should stay in the new city of Petra to do it. The long walk through a rock walled canyon takes over an hour and if you’re not up for the hike you can hire a carriage. Walking IN is not hard as it’s slightly downhill. Walking OUT is a little trickier. We opted for the donkey ride up the fire/emergency road (20 minute ride instead of an hour and a half walk back-did I say, uphll?). The fire road route is REALLY steep. I’d guess 14% incline or more so I felt really bad for my poor donkey but I did give him a wee tip (recommended by our guide and then, as if we’d forget, also by the donkey’s manager – seriously, who doesn’t tip their donkey?) on the bitter end of his sojourn, so we’re good with the hardworking donkeys of Petra.

Hustling back to make the iconic sunset photo over the Dead Sea and to stay over again in Amman to catch our flight to Qatar, we raced along the coast that gives you a view of Jericho in Israel. It is THAT close. I have to say, it does give one pause, given both ancient and recent history, to stand on the high bank of the Dead Sea in Jordan and look across to the lights of Jericho in Israel. Perhaps one of the most moving world vistas.

Back to Hadrian’s gate in Jerash: some additional contemplation. 

Hadrian. Google the guy for background and then ponder this: word arrived in Jerash two years prior to his arrival alerting the locals that he was coming to visit. So, in that two years the city built a gate through which he would enter. A gate that would befittingly honor him as he was much beloved throughout the region. When I say “gate” you should envision the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, or perhaps the Arch in Washington Square Park, New York City. A big, substantial mother. You don’t throw one of those suckers up overnight. (See photo above.)

Imagine the devotion a population must feel to any given leader or political figure to erect such a monument for a guy who basically stopped in ONE time. (He stayed around four months and then mosied on his way never to return and enter through his gate again.) 

This is where my thoughts go these days. What was it about Hadrian that made people want to create such magnificence just to say, “Hey, dude, welcome to Jerash! We love ya’.” 

Or, did he just have a great PR advance team? I wonder.