We, your intrepid Desto3 guides, stipulate thus: Germany is a pretty tame desto, all possibilities for international travel considered. And, if you’ve seen one German city, you might think that you have seen them all. But, hey, au contraire, mon ami (Pardon the Francais, sie vous plais, but I’m on a train bound for Paris as I write this so it’s as good a time as any to bust out the sketchy French.)
Regarding the Deutschland – here’s what I want to say about Cologne, Germany: It is one German desto that will surprise you. It is the Portland of Germany. An island of tolerance and gentle folk who live and let live. Think the Austin of Texas. Or, the Berkeley of California. It is decidedly NOT Berlin or even Munich. (No quarrel with either of those two fine Teutonic cities.)
As it is one of the very last weekends of the summer folks were out in the town in every district in droves, and not the usual hoards of American tourists one has come to expect in western Europe. Locals and other Germans are in town to visit the Cathedral, probably the biggest foreign and domestic draw, but also to get a head start on the Carnival season or what is popularly referred to as “the fifth season”.
Carnival really doesn’t occur officially until November but like elsewhere, there’s the time-creep of any season that promises a surcease from the ordinary routines of regular life and promises instead even a modicum of Fun. The locals say, “You should see the Carnival season when things really get bumping.” But even in September you can definitely feel a charge in the air that signals something very big is coming. In Cologne, Carnival eclipses the Octoberfest that preoccupies the rest of Germany. You won’t go to Cologne to celebrate Octoberfest. (Head to Munich.) But Carnival as described by our hosts sounds like Mardi Gras, German style, which means of course, lots and lots of FOOD and lots and lots of ALCOHOL.
Cologne does boast the requisite number of breweries (this is Germany after all) and brew houses, but we didn’t see a single quart sized schooner like the type you are used to drinking out of from Germany to Wisconsin during the Octoberfest. Instead the freshly brewed beer – “kirsch” is one – is served in short, slender iced glasses like tall shot glasses and in a typical brew house in Cologne you must remember to put a coaster on top of your glass to signal the wait staff “no more” when you’ve had your fill. Failing to do so summons another and yet another with alarming alacrity. Even though this potion is relatively “light”, enough of them will knock you on your American ass just like any other beer will, given sufficient quantity. It’s best to drink your bir with a lot of good German wurst and other regional culinary delights.
In Germany (everywhere we’ve been so far) the cuisine is very heavily weighted in meat products. This is true in Cologne as well. There ARE vegetarian options on the menu, but we didn’t see any tables at the brew houses with anything remotely salad like atop them. (If you are a vegan, you’ll probably do better to hit up one of the new and very trendy places over in the “student quarter” where a hipper, less Germanic cuisine is very popular now. Both districts are jam-packed with diners late into the evening but the vibe is just a little bit different in each. Try both. The brew houses, of course, are more authentically “German” and the other restaurants elsewhere reflect an internationality one finds almost everywhere now.
Climb the Cathedral steps (costs a tiny toll) and maybe take a city tour by bus to get the general lay of the land. Walk along the river. Hang out in the large square in front of the Romanesque Museum (wherefrom you can peek down onto the floor one flight below street level to see one of Europe’s most impressively preserved Roman tile (look up this).
Probably a ton other cool things to do if you have more time. There are after all over 30 museums, more than 100 schools (higher ed) and 250 churches in the city of Cologne.
And, of course the WWII history is a bit of a draw even now. Allied forces bombed them to the ground during WWII (Everything except the big Cathedral which, depending on who you talk to was either preserved as a marker and the way the bombers got their bearings to find the city and bomb it flat, or, it was “protected” because it houses the remains of the “Three Kings”. (The Maggi or Wise Men, if you aren’t RC.) You pick.
Grab some traditional German food which is ten kinds of delicious and very, very fattening. Some people say Cologne is just another western European industrial city, but Desto says, just go. Don’t write Cologne off like some kind of “Cleveland”. It’s got way more character than you will expect.
